Hey Love ! Thank you so much for being here. If you’re reading this, it probably means you’re exhausted from trying everything to find that sense of inner peace, yet still feeling like you’re searching for something gentle, something that doesn’t ask you to do more or be more, but still has the power to change your life.
I can’t tell you how many times I sat in therapy sessions or coaching workshops and heard someone tell me, “You just need to love yourself.” It felt like they were saying something so obvious, but no one ever actually explained how to do it. They made it sound so easy, yet every time I walked away, I was left with this heavy feeling on my heart and a deep frustration. I wanted to feel whole, to be enough, but there was always that missing piece.
So, I dove into every self-development tool I could find. I read book after book, joined workshops, and chased after achievement after achievement, thinking that maybe if I could just “fix” a little more of myself, I’d get there. But instead, I found myself in an endless loop of over-analyzing every aspect of who I was. I’d catch myself diagnosing my own flaws, thinking, “I need to fix this, and this, and this…” I was so focused on everything I thought was “wrong” with me that self-love started to feel like an impossible task, something I’d always be chasing but never actually reach.
Then one day, exhausted from trying to fix everything, I realized that maybe what I was missing was something much simpler and softer. Maybe it wasn’t about fixing or changing—I’d been doing that my whole life, and it only left me more frustrated. I started to wonder if the answer was already within me, waiting quietly for me to slow down and listen.
I took a breath, turned inward, and asked my younger self—my Inner-Girl—a question I’d never thought to ask: What do you need? What do you want from me?
And suddenly, I could hear her. She didn’t want me to keep striving or diagnosing myself. She didn’t need another plan or to-do list to “get better.” She just wanted me to see her, to be gentle with her, to give her permission to feel safe and loved. She needed kindness, not perfection. I’d been so busy chasing “healing” that I’d forgotten to simply be with her, to listen and offer her the love she’d been missing all along.
From there, I took what I knew from my background in psychology, especially my training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), and I created my own version of the system—a way of guiding myself through healing that felt simple, gentle, and kind. I wanted this system to be different from the methods that left me feeling heavy and burdened. I needed a softer approach, one that would actually feel healing instead of like more work.
Understanding IFS (Internal Family Systems)
IFS theory believes that inside each of us, there’s a “family” of different parts or characters, each with a unique role:
Protectors are the parts that keep us “safe” by managing life for us. They might be the voices in your head that criticize or push you to always do more, or even the ones that encourage you to numb out when it all feels too much.
Exiles hold our deepest wounds and vulnerable feelings, the parts of us that carry sadness or memories of past pain. They’re often hidden away because they feel so raw and delicate.
The Self is the compassionate, wise, loving part of us. When we’re connected to this part, we’re capable of reparenting and healing all the others with warmth and acceptance.
IFS teaches that every part has a purpose, even if it doesn’t always seem helpful on the surface. For instance, that inner critic? It’s likely trying to protect you in its own way, believing that if it’s hard on you, you’ll be better prepared to face the world. Rather than “fixing” or “silencing” these parts, IFS encourages us to understand them with curiosity and compassion.
This system became my guide as I reconnected with my Inner-Girl and started to reparent her in a way that felt soft, nurturing, and even a bit playful. I stopped seeing my healing journey as a to-do list, and instead, I approached it with love.
Embracing a Softer, Cutesy Healing Approach
When I talk about my “cutesy” approach to healing, I mean creating a space for your Inner-Girl that feels warm, cozy, and safe—like wrapping yourself in a soft blanket on a chilly day. It’s an invitation to embrace softness, where you’re not just allowed to be imperfect; you’re celebrated for it. We often spend so much time trying to fit into the mold of who we think we should be, but my approach encourages you to let go of that pressure and simply be.
This means nurturing your Inner-Girl with tenderness and care, like a loving friend who understands you deeply. It’s about creating little rituals and practices that make her feel cherished and valued, allowing you to reconnect with that playful, vibrant part of yourself that might have been tucked away for too long.
Daily Rituals for Your Inner-Girl: I started small, with little acts of love each day, like making a cozy cup of tea in the morning, wrapping myself in a blanket, and journaling about what my Inner-Girl needed. I’d ask her, “What do you need today?” Sometimes it was rest; sometimes it was a few minutes to doodle like I did as a child. I encouraged clients to do the same, to start small, maybe by dancing around in the morning or spending five minutes doing something playful.
Setting Soft Boundaries: Boundaries don’t have to be harsh. I like to think of them as “soft boundaries.” Instead of forcing myself to say “no” rigidly, I’d pause and check in with my Inner-Girl, asking, “How does this feel for you?” I showed one of my clients, who struggled with people-pleasing, how to take a breath before responding to requests and think about her Inner-Girl’s needs first. Suddenly, boundaries felt like acts of love, not limitation.
Befriending the Protector Parts: The critical parts of us that pop up aren’t the enemy, they’re just worried parts trying to protect us. I started talking to my inner critic like a concerned big sister, telling her, “I know you’re trying to protect me. Thank you, but we’re okay.” With each gentle conversation, my protector parts softened, letting my Inner-Girl know that she was safe.
Becoming the Woman Your Inner-Girl Can Look Up To
As I practiced these small, gentle steps, something beautiful happened: I started to become the woman my Inner-Girl could look up to, the one she could trust. She didn’t need to hide anymore; she knew I was there for her, creating a loving, safe environment.
I’ve seen the same transformation in so many women I work with. One of my clients recently told me, “My Inner-Girl actually trusts me now. She’s not hiding anymore.” And that, to me, is the magic of this approach. You’re not just healing; you’re rebuilding that love and trust within yourself, becoming the version of you that your Inner-Girl can look up to.
Join Me on This Journey: The 5-Day Reparent Your Inner-Girl Program
If my story resonates with you, I’d love for you to join my 5-Day Reparent Your Inner-Girl program. It’s a gentle, guided journey that brings these concepts to life in small, doable steps—simple prompts, soothing meditations, and playful exercises to reconnect with your Inner-Girl. It’s soft, it’s simple, and it’s a way to nurture yourself back to wholeness, one gentle step at a time.
And if you’re ready to go even deeper, I also offer 1:1 sessions. Together, we’ll explore your unique experiences, meet each of your parts, and create a space where your Inner-Girl can truly feel seen and loved.
This journey is softer than you might think, but that’s where the healing happens. I’d be honoured to walk it with you.
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